Blurry
by Elladan of Rivendell
Summary: A SongFic about the seperation of Elrond and Elros.


**Disclaimer:** I hold no claim to either J.R.R. Tolkiens creations (Elrond, Elros, Gil-Galad, the Valar and Valaria) or to Puddle of Mudd and their song _Blurry_.

* * *

_Everything's so blurry__  
_Elrond's eyes were blurred, as a solitary tear streaked down his fair, young face. This lone tear was followed by others, and there was soon a stream flowing freely from both eyes.  
_And everyone's so fake_  
This was not as it should be. Elros was not a man, he was an elf like Elrond. How could he not be?  
_And everybody's empty_  
The Valar in the tent before them seemed heartless, cold, as their herald Eonwe read back Elros' decision.  
_And everything is so messed up_  
Elrond felt his breath catch as he sobbed lightly, and struggled to keep his hand from wiping the salty tears from his face.  
_Pre-occupied without you_  
His mind raced, thinking of all the memories of himself and his older brother, as they grew under Gil-Galad's care on Balar.  
_I cannot live at all_  
Elrond felt his breath catch again, and he couldn't stifle the sob that came, nor the next one, and he stopped trying.  
_My whole world surrounds you__  
_Elrond and Elros had been together since birth, and Elrond could feel his knees give way at the thought of their inevitable separation.  
_I stumble then I crawl_  
His legs gave out, and Elrond found himself on all fours in the ornate war tent of the Valar. His breath came in chokes, and he could not hold back the tears that fell from his face to the ground.  
_You could be my someone__  
_As the sentence took effect, Elrond felt as if his heart had been torn open and a vital part ripped from it.  
_You could be my scene__  
_His entire life flashed before his eyes, and he was hard pressed to find a scene where Elros was absent.  
_You know that I'll protect you__  
_Elrond had always been at Elros' side, helping to keep him out of trouble when his plans fell apart.  
_from all of the obscene__  
_Elros and Elrond had been sheltered by Gil-Galad, and Elrond had never, ever felt pain such as this.  
_I wonder what you're doing_  
Why would Elros choose to abandon his younger brother, his twin, to be mortal and die as all men did?  
_Imagine where you are__  
_Elrond could see images of a land not forged, a large island where Elros would be King. Eonwe had mentioned it earlier, as if it was a reward for abandoning his brother.  
_There's oceans in between us_  
It was an island. There would be no contact between the brothers. Elros was lost to Elrond forever, and nothing could now change that.  
_But that's not very far_  
Still, a thread of their bond remained in his heart. Elrond clung to that thread as his awareness fell into oblivion.

_Can you take it all away?_  
Elrond woke in a brightly lit side-chamber of the giant tent, but it was as if he was not even there.  
_Can you take it all away?__  
_His mind floated above his body, and he found it was mingled with that of two others. Two immensely powerful beings, Valar he could guess.  
_When you shoved it in my face_  
His thoughts floated back to earlier. Elrond had not known of his brother's choice. He would have tried to stop him if he could have.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
The link that bound the elven twins was severely wounded, as Elros was no longer an elf.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
No longer an elf. His brother had been taken from his race.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
There would be no more contact between them. So young, they were, so many millennia they would have had together, gone.  
_When you shoved it in my face__  
_So abrupt, no warning. No preparation. Elrond could not have seen this coming. It wouldn't have hurt as bad if he had.  
_This pain you gave to me__  
_His final thoughts of consciousness were focused on blaming Eonwe for his brother's choice.

_Everyone is changing__  
_Elros would no longer be an elf. He was not immortal. These thoughts awoke Elrond with a start, sweat dropping from his forehead.  
_There's no-one left that's real__  
_The two other beings in the room were transparent, as if they were not there at all. Valar. One was sobbing, and Elrond heard the other softly singing to him.  
_So make up your own ending_  
Elrond felt his voice raise in to join the soft tunes of the Valaria, and tears flowed again from his eyes as the verse was laid out.  
_And let me know just how you feel_  
Pain was all Elrond felt now, hurt by his brother's choice. There was no going back, and Elrond knew that.  
_'Cause I am lost without you_  
Elrond suddenly sat up, searching the small area for his twin. He was not there. Elrond had to find him, to tell him how he felt.  
_I cannot live at all_  
The dark-haired elf's voice caught as he swung his legs over the cot and stood shakily. The singing in the room stopped and he felt sudden tension.  
_My whole world surrounds you_  
Elrond was now an elf consumed. He had to find his brother, and not a single Valar or Valaria would stop him.  
_I stumble then I crawl_  
His knees gave out on him, and he found himself again on the floor. He had failed, and his brother was now lost.  
_You could be my someone__  
_Elrond felt strong, soft arms beneath him, lifting his fallen body back onto the cot.  
_You could be my scene_  
He was exhausted, and the only thing that came of his struggles to rise again was a pain in his heart.  
_You know that I will save you_  
Elrond should have saved him. He could have stopped his brother. Alas, Elros will die now, of old age.  
_From all of the unclean__  
_An elf dying of old age. It seemed almost ironic to Elrond, though he knew of his ancestor Luthien's plight.  
_I wonder what you're doing_  
Elros could not have been thinking clearly. Who would throw their life away while they may live for thousands of years?  
_I wonder where you are_  
His mind could not have been in his head when he made his choice. Elros wouldn't have abandoned Elrond. He hadn't done so once in his entire life, why would he now?  
_There's oceans in between us__  
_Oceans and weeks between them now. Elrond was not a sailor, and Elros would not come and visit. It would pain them both too much.  
_But that's not very far_  
Still the link remained, and Elrond clung to the thread that was left with all of his heart.

_Can you take it all away?_  
For the next week, Elrond recovered in the small chamber of the tent of the Valar, watched over by the Weeper and the Singer.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
These two worked tirelessly to strengthen the bond in Elrond's heart, although it was to no avail. They finally made a difficult choice.  
_When you shoved it in my face_  
The bond would need to be cut completely if the elf was to survive.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
A new being entered, and the Doomsman began his work of severing Elrond's link to his twin.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
He worked long and hard, desperately trying to find a way to keep the twins connected even as he cut the bond.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
He found it after two day's work, and he tied the remains of their bond deeper into Elrond's fea.  
_When you shoved it in my face__  
_The two of them would be connected until the end of Elros' days, although Elros would not know it.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
Elrond, however, would have a hole in his heart that would never heal upon the day of his twin's death.

_Oooooooohhhh__  
_Elrond woke with a start, and immediately searched for the bond he had held on to throughout his slumber. He found it deeper in himself than he remembered, and was glad to feel it strengthened by its closeness to his heart.  
_Nobody told me what you thought__  
_Elros was not one to keep secrets. He would have told someone of his choice before that fateful day. Naught had been said to Elrond though, and the younger twin found that unfair.  
_Nobody told me what to say_  
He remembered the way his breath caught in the tent that day, and his forgotten attempt to utter his brother's name, to ask him why.  
_Everyone showed you where to turn__  
_It seemed everyone was backing Elros in his decision, not telling him how foolish becoming a man truly was.  
_Told you where to runaway_  
It seemed almost that Elros was running from Elrond, from the immortal life granted by their parents.  
_Nobody told you where to hide_  
No, Elros had found his own place, not needing the help of others to escape his brother. But why?  
_Nobody told you what to say__  
_Elros had come up with his own answer to Eonwe's question. He chose a mortal life.  
_Everyone showed you where to turn__  
_Many had likely told him what they thought, and Elros had come to the decision to throw his life away with help.  
_Showed you where to runaway__  
_No, not running. Accepting his own fate. Accepting his fate, as Elrond would have to.

_Can you take it all away?_  
Elrond did not want to accept a fate where he could not be near his brother.  
_Can you take it all away?__  
_He simply would not!  
_When you shoved it in my face_  
Nobody could make him, not even the Valar.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
His head hurt with the thought, and he heard a voice soothing him.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
The voice spoke beautifully, and Elrond tried to shut it out.  
_Can you take it all away?_  
It repeated only 3 words, and it wove them into a beautiful song like the one he had joined days ago in the Valarias care.  
_When you shoved it in my face__  
_These three words went against everything Elrond stood for, and yet, he felt compelled to listen to them. Finnally, he gave in, and agreed with them.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
"Let him go."

_This pain you gave to me__  
_Elrond now stood upon the docks of Mithlond, watching his brother's ship sail away.  
_You take it all_  
He wished he could stop the ship, bring his brother back for one last lunch together, one last hunt in the woods, but he could not.  
_Take it all away_  
He knew he couldn't, and that only made their separation harder.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
They had decided never again to speak, to make a clean break from one another.  
_You take it all away_  
There would be too much pain any other way, and both would have faded.  
_This pain you gave to me_  
Elrond's heart ached with the thought, and he turned his attention to the quickly fading ship.  
_Take it all away_  
Elros sailed away, never to be seen by Elrond's eyes again.  
_This pain you gave_  
Elrond turned now, and retreated from the dock, and found love in the embrace of Gil-Galad.  
_This pain you gave__  
_The tears came again, wetting his face and his foster-father's cloak.

* * *

Elrond is one of my favorite elves, and _Blurry_ is one of my favorite songs. I felt like I had to combine the two, and here's the finished product. This is my first fic, so be gentle! I'll add a chapter 2 for response to reviews later on


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